I was brought to consider for a brief and, in a chuckling sort of way, a humorous explanation for all those things that come with "growing up." Keep reading, and you'll see.
For the past few years in college, I've been on the fast track to existence. I now have a two-letter degree attached to my name that I hope will soon be accompanied by another two or three letter friend in the near future. Even though I've had the ability to rely on my parents for one thing or the other, I rather stubbornly refused it under the realistic pretense that I wanted to train myself to manage my finances. While many of my college friends were complaining about how they were low on cash after they'd been out to the bars too many times or hosted too many parties or taken lavish vacations to Europe or blew their savings on a study abroad, I wondered if I was just an anomaly? Do reasonably frugal - if that is what I am - people just drop out of the stork's sling? So, I learned to leave enough money for rent, food, bills. I learned to invest. I learned to make the most out of a small amount not because I really had to, but because I wanted to. I wanted to be a good example...for myself.
Its been almost 5 months that I've been working for Harvard University, researching. Five months! Although I've lived in three different places in the past 5 months and taken many different routes to get to and from work, its still pretty incredible that I've been here for so long. "So long." Haha.
Researching at Harvard School of Public Health to study genetics and complex diseases of diabetes and obesity is interesting, true. I'm developing an assay to test drugs that are used currently to treat diabetes on human, rat, and mouse liver cells. Why? There is such a thing as ER stress.
There is a very important organelle inside every cell in your body called the endoplasmic reticulum. Its a very thinly-walled cellular body which makes it extremely sensitive to all the chaos that goes on in the cell. Its also SO important because it houses another type of organelle, the ribosome, which makes all the proteins that make up our body and conduct the processes that keep us alive. There are many theories out there, but just consider this: type II diabetes, which is a disease of dysfunctional insulin to deal with blood sugar, is actually a lipid disease. If you have "hyper-lipid-emia" - essentially of having "too much-fat-condition" this is accompanied by a cellular indicator - ER stress. Obese individuals do exhibit ER stress also. So, to treat obesity, its a good idea to look at the causes and treatments for diabetes that are currently available. In the lab, we look at liver cells that we induce to have ER stress, and then we test these diabetic treatments to see if they will reduce ER stress and return the cells to a normal, healthy metabolism. That's the explanation for why I do what I do...
For a career, however, I'm trying so hard to deal with acronyms and the alphabet soup that describes all the proteins and cellular pathways that makes molecular biologists happy and which makes me grit my teeth. I love words and these three-five letter "words" like
shRNA
siRNA
JNK
p58
p53
MAP
ERSE
UPRE
... for eternity
drive me crazy!
Coming from a literature background, these non-words are irritating, unfortunately. I'm much better, I'm making a huge effort because, hey, what's the big deal about letters anyways, right?
I'll save my career musings for a later post as they are currently being formulated, but I just want to leave you with a couple of thoughts.
As I left my haircutting appointment yesterday afternoon, I stopped at the cross-walk and came in stride with a mother with a little boy discussing a very important issue: getting a scooter.
Mom=M
boy=B
M: Honey, you can't get a scooter.
B: Why not?
M: Well, I was just thinking, sweetie, that you're getting so big so fast! By the time we got you this scooter, you'd be too big for it in a month!
B:
Why did this random conversation mean anything to me? Here's why.
As I've entered the work force, begun to care about being a professional, about measuring up to others in my stage of life, if not at my age, managing finances, saving up for the future, balancing work, home, social life, keeping myself occupied and satisfied, and all those kinds of things that adults do, there have of course been things that I didn't know how to do or couldn't have for some reason or the other. Completely unrelated to my relationship with my parents, I realized what God's sovereignty in my life means in this simple conversation.
The mother's wisdom was so simple and while it doesn't apply to every situation, it certainly applies to some. Her son could get what he wanted now (scooter), but it isn't wise to do so because as he is growing and should be growing, the natural course of life would be that he would outgrow that size and type of scooter in a short period of time and would then either need a new one or else live dissatisfied with nothing.
God's life is meant to grow within us and circumstantially, He puts all sorts of "scooters" in our lives that we desire that test our relationship with Him: when the mom told her son "no" her son didn't run off yelling "I HATE YOU! You're the WORST mommy EVER!" These scooters are things that occupy our heart and tie us down - whether it be career, academics, or relationships. In the right balance and at the right time, the scooters will show up for the right price and only then should they be purchased. But it depends on where we are in our growth if the particular coveted scooter will be a good size. The best person who can gage the growth of a child is a parent; in like manner, the best One to gage our spiritual growth is God, our Heavenly Father. So, when He says "dear, you're still growing. Not right now" He really does know what He's talking about.
:)
Even though I work full-time, I feel like I need to do something else to balance myself. I'm interviewing tomorrow for a retail position at Crate and Barrel at Harvard Square to help save some money for graduate school. I'll start volunteering at Children's Hospital next week in the children's oncology and hematology department, in which I will probably soon be wishing I took a degree in child development as I'll be held partially responsible for the health, safety, and happiness of kids undergoing chemotherapy, along with their anxious families. I love kids. That's where my burden is: whether I become a physician, advocate for public health in schools, hospitals, or in government, or a teacher, and hopefully someday, a mom and writer, I want to preserve the safety and potential of kids in America physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually. That's where my heart is. Working full-time, nights, weekends, and volunteering while still having time for meetings and personal time will probably be a lot. I don't quite know if where I am is where I need to be. So, pray for me. Pray for me to discover what career He wants me to pursue as I don't know which of my strengths to devote an entire professional career to.
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